Holy shit. There are plenty of people on Medicaid who do work. These dumb mother fuckers.

“Will you be my rebound?”

Nah, Culinary Circle frozen pizzas are the absolute BEST.

I found out about this because my husband was literally gagging after reading about it on Shawn King’s facebook.

Excellent gif usage, I applaud you.

“Take a chill pill, vagina havers. No, seriously, it’s the only pills I’m allowing you women things to have,” the Kasich said.

Melania, “There is very special message in this candy, young man. Yes, very special. Please take to nearest FBI agent.”

I love how dark your’s is.

Obviously it’s his dick in the basket.

My husband thinks I’m paranoid for always having my doors locked. I feel like my paranoia has been vindicated.

Olestra

I only have Paw Patrol bandaids. Will those suffice?

Holy hell. I did not know that.

Remember, they go by color gradient to determine if you’re disrepectin’ the flag.

The number of people who won’t get that this is sarcasm is staggering.

w00t! NAIL BAT! Best weapon on disc 1 of FFVII.

And this why I now follow the endless scream on twitter.

I’m just cringing reading this.

I’m glad, with the first story, that her POS friend finally stepped up. Wish he had said something to her sooner. That’s a horrible thing to put her and her kids thru.

I get what you’re saying, but I just want to point out that many Sov. Cits (like the Bundy ranch guys) have felonies and are prohibited from owning firearms but have them anyway. Many times in cases such as this, the weapons are given to them by family members or friends.