Yes, looks like you guys were super close.

I wonder how many not-unattractive 47 year old women Tony “notices.”

*Lays down aces and eights, sighs*

My clique.

People keep saying “neurotic” like it’s a bad thing. Refusing to sit with my back to the door at a restaurant has kept me alive for this long, thank you and shut up.

I haven’t been to a wedding with a band/singer, but I have been to a wedding with dueling pianos. It was AMAZING. So much fun.

I was trying to explain to my English husband about what Friendly’s was- basically a place with rocking grilled cheese sandwiches and ALL THE ICE CREAM YOU COULD EVER WANT in a variety of forms. LOVE Friendly’s.

you really shouldn’t be doing that in public restrooms.

Jesus Christ. I’m always using public restrooms... Fucking people.

There were other forgettable black bit players (e.g. George’s coworker, the father and daughter that George watched a movie with).

That’s really awful.

I feel like people should make a bigger deal about amy poehler being one of the most important figures in recent comedy history. EVERYBODY FUNNY TODAY is a product of UCB. And she (along with the Matts and Ian) started it! That’s a huge f’ing deal.

True story. I was at a fundraising event, seated next to people I didn’t know. I struck up a conversation with the gentleman next to me who ended up being a political staffer. He asked me about my field, and then interrupted me to say, “Oy! I read an article about that the other day. The article said that.....” and…

Of COURSE having more sex won’t help the relationship.

Having a baby is how you save your marriage.

Amen. I’ve been jerking off the same way for twenty years. Is it as exciting as it was when I was 12? Nah, but it’s still probably my favorite part of the day other than breakfast.

Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

Imma bring this out again.

“And that, friends, is how I fucked a flower girl.”

This happened to a friend of mine! There was no wedding, so it was smaller scale, but she dated a dude for MONTHS, they talked all the time, they’d go on road trips together, etc. Like I was there, I met him! There was always the specter of this ex-girlfriend/roommate that he had but there was definitely “NOTHING”…

I... I just... I don’t want to judge because I once witnessed my psycho ex leave a club with his other girlfriend and walk toward his house, and he just smiled and waved at me and kept walking, and the next day I (confronted him with the irrefutable evidence of my eyes) allowed myself to be convinced again that they…