Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

Imma bring this out again.

“And that, friends, is how I fucked a flower girl.”

This happened to a friend of mine! There was no wedding, so it was smaller scale, but she dated a dude for MONTHS, they talked all the time, they’d go on road trips together, etc. Like I was there, I met him! There was always the specter of this ex-girlfriend/roommate that he had but there was definitely “NOTHING”…

One of my friends went on a cross country camping trip with her boyfriend, and they visited his ex. He slept with his ex girlfriend in her house, while my friend CAMPED IN HER YARD. He somehow convinced her that he misunderstood a comment she’d made and believed they were in an open relationship for the duration of…

Yay! I’m iut of the greys!

Of course, he ALREADY has a story ready for his wife about “this crazy ex who won’t let go”.

I... I just... I don’t want to judge because I once witnessed my psycho ex leave a club with his other girlfriend and walk toward his house, and he just smiled and waved at me and kept walking, and the next day I (confronted him with the irrefutable evidence of my eyes) allowed myself to be convinced again that they…

I seriously was kissing a guy and didn’t want to continue and he said, “But I went to Harvard!” This happened in real life in a real situation.

I am not a hookup person. The story that follows was made possible by a combination of extraordinary factors, leading to a story that has become a legend in my circle of friends.

The following story is the most embarrassing moment of my life. Please enjoy.

Maybe not the wildest, but perhaps my proudest.

At a co-worker’s wedding in 2011, I went with another co-worker as a platonic date. We ended up sitting at the same table as my brother and his girlfriend, my boss and his girlfriend, and this couple that nobody really knew that had clearly been doing some pregaming. They were last minute invites of one of the…

Oh, one more: met a super handsome man at a wedding in the middle of London, agreed to share a cab with him on the way out, agreed that we should ditch his other friend who he had earlier agreed to share a cab with. All seemed propitious as we were waiting on the sidewalk for the cab, when an intoxicated stranger…

I got one!

Does it count as a ‘wedding hook up’ story if it was at a wedding where my now wife (then sworn enemy) and I didn’t hate each other anymore, as we had since we were like 14?

Wedding in Israel, on a kibbutz in the middle of nowhere (well, as much as you can be in the middle of nowhere in Israel, it’s a small place). I’m at a singles table of three women and eight men, I’m not feeling particularly interested in any of them, but then one of them remarks to my friend that he works in his…

I don’t want to steal her thunder, since I am decently sure she’s still on Kinja, but I am desperately hoping that one of my bridesmaids shows up to tell the story of hooking up with the best man at our wedding. I will be scrutinizing these replies closely, to say the least. Also for vicarious thrills as an old…

This wasn’t “crazy” but it did give me a giggle. My California friend married a guy from the UK so he had a lot of English friends and family in town. I ended up going back to the room with one of the buddies and as we were in bed, nearly naked, obviously headed to bonetown he says, apropos of nothing “I went to…

I stayed in a hotel room w two other girls who ended up staying elsewhere to bang some dudes in bow ties and I slept alone in the room by myself and smoke a J while I watched Law and Order reruns at 4am.