Lmao, nothing says wedded bliss like a riding mower!

Try a 38 year 4 wedding bride. Yup Registery! For a surround sound system, riding lawn mower etc. Big ticket items! Nope will send a donation to a charity of MY choice in their name. They have household full of stuff anyway!!!!!

Easily one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said, like I honestly can’t comprehend how fucking stupid this is. Are you trolling or are you legit serious?

Your annoyance with him (as opposed to, say, the payday loan companies) is really very, very strange.

I think, by that, he meant, “Don’t get involved with these people because they WILL exploit you,” not, “Don’t get involved with these people because you’re pathetic.”

I wonder precisely how freaked out that CT tech was when the scan first revealed the second body....

This is exactly like the time I cut open a pepper and there was another, smaller pepper inside of it.

I can’t decide between these two. Including the first one because I get it and all its variations SO OFTEN and it has me on the verge of getting JDate and giving up on goyim; including the second one because a popular boy in 6th (!!!) grade said it to me and it just huuuurrrrt:

Well I appreciate it.

My mom, picking me up from college one year: Have you gained weight, or is it just your new haircut?

“Most men don’t like women who have a body like yours, but I’m not most men.”

I’ve heard that one from two different man babies.

The scene: Halloween, circa 2013, near the beginning surge of Capitol Hill’s tragic bropocalypse. I was at a packed bar, dressed as Link from Zelda. I am very, very good at costumes. Your typical douchebro grabs my shoulder to get my attention. He is already doing that obvious PUA thing: using a familiar touch and…

“You give off a ‘funky chick’ vibe, so I thought you’d be into it,” said the man who sexually assaulted me at work. :/

I was in eighth grade and mister king of junior high says to me “I know who you are you’re like the most popular girl of all the like unpopular people.”

I was in my early twenties, and bemoaning the fact that I was single to one of my girlfriends. I was busy feeling sorry for myself, and blamed it on my weight. My friend looked at me and said, “It’s not your weight. I mean, look at me- *I’m* not obese and I’m single!”

“But I’m offering you such a great salary... for a girl.”

The moment I meet my very short, balding blind date, he skips the introductions to say this:

“Your English is great. You almost sound totally American. It's nice to hear someone actually try.”

(At the office) “As far as women go, you know your stuff pretty well. I hope you asked for a salary that outranks the other women lateral to your position.” Not the other men, mind you, just the other women lateral to me. I may or may not have kicked this guy in the nuts.

“Your personality is a real dick softener” stated by fratty McRedstag.