Ok. Ok. Oi. I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I have two: One happened to me and was horrifying, one happened to a friend and is hilarious.

Mention Gigli, did you?

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I used to work for the tabloids, so it’s not a question of if I have a story, but which one I tell the Jezzies.
There was the time Dave Navaro refused to be interviewed unless I gave him a blow-job. He had just married Carmen Electra.
There was the time on a red carpet that a very drunk Gary Busey asked me how, a…

I critiqued Marc Maron’s interviewing style on a message board I didn’t know he read. This was during the first year or so of WTF and it seemed to me like every time his guest was a woman or some kind of ethnic/sexual minority, he’d focus so squarely on that aspect of them and ignore everything else. He wasn’t being a…

my parents were craft service on that show “Method and Red” on FOX. As like a 16 year old (I’m 27 now), I would frequently come and work doing craft service shit for them unofficially, and unpaid on whatever show they were working on. I did it as a favor to them, but also I was coming out to see friends in LA that I…

Preach.

He wasn’t a dick or anything, but I was once walking near Seth Meyers in the same direction and he kept looking back at me all panic-stricken like I was stalking him or something.

I worked in the entertainment industry in the late 90’s. Here’s my rundown.

i was with my family seeing west side story on broadway, and tom and rita hanks and their kids (?) sat next to us. a league of their own is my absolute favorite movie, and i was flipping a shit. my dad leaned over and said, “excuse me mr hanks, a league of their own is my daughter’s absolute favorite movie and it’s…

Ahahaha making a throw away account because my friends definitely know this story. When I was a senior in high school, I was really into the poet Adrienne Rich. Which kind of tells you all you need to know about the type of person I was at that point in my life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrienne_… for the…

wait, I have a REALLY good one about Method Man if anyone cares

I went to see a screening of the second Boondock Saints film (for all its deep and obvious flaws, I have an abiding fondness for the original, entirely because of the gorgeous men and all the homoeroticism) that included a panel discussion with Troy Duffy and a few of the actors afterward. The move was so awful I…

It was a typical night out at the bars in Minneapolis & was having a great time talking to a really nice guy. In the middle of a sentence, Josh Hartnett bounds up to the guy and drags him away while shouting, “No. Beer googles, dude. No. Beer goggles. Beer goggles. No. No. No. No. Take off your beer goggles. No. No.…

I went to St. Andrews for university, so we had quite a few golf-loving celebs come through, especially during the Dunhill Cup. At one point I went out with a couple of my friends from hall to go watch some of it, and it was just as boring as you’d expect from, y’know, golf. So we’re talking about how boring it is and…

If it’s any consolation, he hit on my friend in college and I stole his cell-phone number from her. I pretended to be her and led him on every time he was back in Boston, until I finally got him to show up at the Hotel Commonwealth and cut communication entirely. He got angry and vulgar; if Bob Saget thinks you’re a…

So this isn’t really the celebrity being a dick, but I love this story. When I was studying abroad in Spain in 2007, Superbad had just come out the summer before, and it was opening in Spain in October. McLovin and Jonah Hill were at a club that my friend and I were going to for her birthday; we were leaving for…

Bob Saget did standup at my College in 2008 on the heels of The Aristocrats. When I was standing in line for the bathroom, he cut in front of me, turned around, said, “Sorry, sugartits, gotta make a splash” and slammed the door in my face.

I’ll just place this here for everyone’s perusal.