when my best friend finally got a cellphone i texted him and someone replied “who is this” I though it was him joking around so I say “I guess last night didn’t mean anything to you then” and the person replies “This is (So and so) from (so and so high school) seriously who is this?” ....OOOPSSS

I just sent this in but I am a grey and it probably won’t get read. In negotiations for a three-some with my current male lover we had a plan whereby I was having a promising third man (who is bi) over. I was to warm him up to the idea and then invite lover #1 over. I wrote: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you…

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

Not grim per se but really embarrassing. The very first sext I ever sent was also the very first text I ever sent. Yeah, I refused to get a cell phone for years and then caved and got one. I thought I had it all figured out, hammered out “I’m horny” and hit send to who I thought was my husband. Turns out it was sent…

He sounds hideous.

“I want to push your head down really hard while you give me head”

Anything that began “If I was single, I would....”

If you had read closely you would see that she was in the process of becoming a citizen. That literally makes her an immigrant.

THERE GOES THAT PATRIARCHY, PATRIARCHIN AGAIN is a gem of an argument and all the commentary this needs.

Simultaneously pouring over IMDB to see what else an actress has been in.

I did the same thing at my wedding! Pets! They’re just like us!

The only little male in my family couldn’t make it to be the ring boy so I replaced him with my elderly looking angry little dog Baxter. It was a back yard wedding so it wasn’t like a dog would be out of place. Baxter hated his adorable sweater and walked down the pathway with a bridesmaid who is looking down at him…

Oh yes, he was the best man. Wore a bow tie and barked through the whole ceremony at us.

I once attended a wedding in which the bride carried her Burmese python over her shoulders during the entire ceremony. She kept having to readjust it because it would not sit still.

We would love to have my parent’s/the family dog in our ceremony and toyed with the idea for awhile, but she’s just too insistently loving - she’d lick everyone’s makeup off and would run the risk of snagging a dress with her gentle pawing for snuggles. Also, she’s prettier than the bride (me), so she’d pull focus ;)

My wheelchair frenchie Bunny stole the show...

Yes and no. We got our fur babies the day after our wedding. We were in the process of adopting when we realized having a kitten in the middle of a wedding would be stressful for the little one, but we had to bring him home asap. We spent the day after the wedding kitten-proofing the place to bring our little Oreo…

Would have been cute to have our cat in our wedding (my husband pulled her out of the engine of a car, he loves her so much but she hates him with a fiery passion), but she would have just eaten all the flowers and thrown up everywhere.

I was called to interview with the county government where we lived at the time for a director job for their oft struggling and previously mismanaged EMS agency. It was going to be a tough job. But, while I was certain the job would be a beast for the 1st year, I felt like the service could be salvaged, it was a…