now i want to marry someone, so i can divorce them via Facebook, can i also divorce Facebook or its till after death due us apart?

Only a deranged asshole would order bacon extra limp, then offer said gelatinous fatty tissue to a terrified waitress as a peace offering. Crispy or nothing, limp dick psycho Santa.

Worst place I ever got sick was camping in the Sierra Mountains with my family. After a week of camping, on our last night, I was struck with a really nasty stomach bug. We had spent the afternoon drinking margaritas, so when the first wave of nausea hit, I thought it was the tequila. But no. How I wish it had been…

Epilogue: I'm finally going back to Disneyworld for my birthday/halloween. It'll be my first trip back since the...unpleasantness. Pray for me.

I threw up in a potted palm in the lobby of the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco, at my Senior Ball, right in front of the principal. Apparently I am allergic to scallops. I arrived, had my photo taken, sipped a 7 Up, turned green, and spent the rest of my evening in the lady’s room, where the speech and debate…

"I don't understand why women just don't TELL men they aren't interested."

A girl did this in my high school. She made me feel bad because i sad something like “what, do you have cancer or something?” sarcastically when she was acting all glum. I told her then she was an asshole for trying to make me feel guilty for something i could not have possibly known about and everyone thought I was a…

Ugh, unfortunately the most sexism I’ve experienced was in the home. My parents, hippies though they are, never asked my brothers to help with anything other than dishes, and even then they didn’t have to do them after middle school. It was me and my sister’s job to do all the housework, even well into college: if I…

What do you mean “you people”, asshole?

I completely disagree with you, on all counts.

You know, it’s a rookie mistake to think that cookie baking and den mothering will get you promoted to a seat any man would want. I see it sometimes that a young woman is “nice” to the men, which she interprets as being perky side-kick-den-mother.

The subtle shit that happens to me is stuff like being asked to cut and serve cake during group parties or being asked to help set up or clean up events.

I work maintenance for a post-secondary school. Our entire department is made up of males (including me) except my co-worker at my campus and one other at another campus. I feel horrible for them because it’s an old boys club and they get treated like crap but within the confines of a professional organization (so…

Oh dude. I hear you. My boss actually called me a “den mother”. I’m the GM of a consulting company. I get asked about cookies and Christmas cards all the time. I also found out a year into the job that I was getting paid less than a male subordinate and was given a raise to just barely more than him in exchange for…

Will somebody PLEASE find me a GIF of Roger from Mad Men asking Peggy for coffee during the secret move to their own company, and peggy very casually answering “no”. I believe its Season 3, episode 13.

I wore some pretty Fleuvog flats for my wedding, but given a do-over I would wear some color or another of Oxford pumps, like these ones from Modcloth:

I'm doing an Alice in Wonderland wedding on Halloween and my dress is this amazing light blue drop waist gown (I'm short) and I got these shoes to go with it. (Irregular Choice)

I wore red sneakers to the prom. Best decision I've ever made (especially considering the prom date I went with).

My husband and I incorporated some baseball elements into our wedding so I wore these leather Keds with baseball stitching... they were only made in 1992 so tracking down a pair in good condition in my size was a bitch!

We went out 2 more times, but it wasn't a good fit. Now I'm dating a great woman and we have a perfect life and everyone is jealous and we both lost lots of weight by only eating caraway seeds and red kool-aid, and we really did get money from that nice Nigerian fellow. He will be best man at our pagan…