Tina Fey (via Matt Lauer) really nailed this one:
"I'm always amazed at what women will do because they're afraid of being rude,"

I saw this show in LA. It was awesome, not mansplain-y in the slightest. FAR AND AWAY though the best part was all the stoned dude-bros who'd obviously driven in from the 'bu who were pretty fucking baffled - if good-naturedly so - by the change in pace from his earlier shows.

Story!

What an absolute class act she is. With role models like her, our daughters will be in very good hands.

Uh, the show is excellent, so get out of here with your nonsense. Other than Kroll Show it's the funniest show on TV right now.

I think this accounts for this show addressing one of the key hardships of being a woman: having hair stuck in your buttcrack.

Making a cat dance for one's life partner goes beyond the physical realm of pleasure. Slightly lifting a cat to a semi standing position and wiggling it to music is the most intimate experience two humans can share.

For future reference, calling it "swinging" makes it sound like 100 times creepier.

I used to love to eat sour patch kids until my tongue bled. At some point they made them less sour and I was very sad!

I haven't been single in a loooong time. So when I get a weekend alone? Oh man, it's like a vacation.

Unless I have somewhere that I need to be, I will sit for hours in just a towel after I've gotten out of the shower. I find it so freeing.

I posted this elsewhere, but my dog's name is Izzy, so I have a blast with "Fancy" because I get to go "Who dog, who dog, I-Z-Z-Y."

Inserting my cat's name into songs that I'm singing along to. "All The Scouty ladies! All the Scouty ladies!" "My Scoutaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" "Last Scout. Last Scout. For Scooooout." And since Kate Bush was mentioned, "Running up that Scout! Running up that Scooooout. With no Scoutleemmms"

*Whenever* I'm alone and going down the stairs, I hold my boobs.

One of my cats melts like jello in a sack on a hot day when you hold him. When I'm alone, I dance with him because he lets me. He purrs like crazy and oozes about in my arms while the other pets look on like we're both nuts, but this cat is the perfect dance partner. He never minds if I miss the steps, and he's…

I have a habit in the morning of turning on the shower, and while waiting for the water to warm up, I poop. I poop in the toilet, by the way... not in the shower, if you guys needed that clarification. Anyways, because I don't want to flush and make the water boiling hot (which I have no idea if this is even the…

I've been married for almost 4 years and with my husband for almost 9. We have an almost two year old girl and I only smoke cigarettes on vacation.

My first boyfriend (after I had been independent and single for years) told me while we were cuddling once, "See? Isn't this better than being independent?"

"What does seem more prevalent today than in previous generations is an inability on the part of many parents to be 'firm' when firmness is needed—the main symptom being that many parents today will endlessly whine and try to reason with their children at times when what is called for is a simple, 'That's it, no more…