"ocean" implies liquid. i didn't call it a fart cloud or a fart iceberg, did i? i hope you covered this in extensive footnotes that no one cares about either.

yes, extraterrestrial fart oceans are very important, you guys. we should have an article on jezebel about important the fart oceans are. everyone will be interested in reading that.

isn't that just as insulting, though?

let's make it a law that legislators who put in for these kinds of laws are legally responsible for the unwanted fetus, and must incur all costs of pregnancy including loss of income and open their own homes or arrange for a home in their own constituency.

little baby alex p. keaton!

I straight-up tell them "no. you always have to ask. not all doggies are as nice as this one." and i don't let them pet until they ask. they mostly look terrified to their parent. either at a stranger giving them orders, or at their instant gratification being denied, i cannot always tell.

i trust alan moore more than i trust randos at dc.

it's not nonsense, it's the truth. you got a couple very assertive women, and you didn't like that. the opposite of that is what you should go after, and the opposite of assertive is insecure girls who will play mind games and manipulate and lie to attract you. it's entirely up to you, of course. best of luck *salute*

we got no time to waste, eatme! that biological clock is a-tickin and we ain't got time to explore our feeeeeelings or whatever.

it's your coupled friends' way of telling you they like you and want you to stay part of their tribe, and they identify with you so they are curious about a thing which makes you two different. this also goes for "when are you having a baby" "have you tried atkins" and 90% of clueless, non-malevolent insensitive…

then when you have an abortion, you ask for an ultrasound. this is about the government deciding what is best for everyone.

so, you would not like it if the government were ordering you to get this invasive kind of test?

i will go to a magic show with you ryan gosling. actually i will go to a magic show with anyone of you - who's game?

"If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me." ~ Alice Roosevelt

huzzah! i just started "blackout" and so far, sooooo good.

how is that bullying? not everything less-than-pleasant can be categorized as bullying.

i find the video of the baby trying to make a magazine page work like an ipad so chilling that i keep buying dozens of space-wasting clunky baby books for every child i know. i'm sure they parents are sooooo thrilled with it but i just cannot accept a world where a child learns to interface with a computer before they…

that's a very pretty tattoo on a very pretty asscheek.

what a fantastic cover design!

that's my good girl.