“The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought ‘em anyway. Ground ‘em up, mixed em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison! I am deathly ill…”

As long as he’s willing to compromise a little.

Another Burneko fluff piece.

I’m mostly offended at the idea of drinking beer out of a straw.

I mean, I’d certainly rate it over Monopoly, but I would rate “sticking my hand in an open flame” over Monopoly.

Yes ..

He blew a .00 or, as John Daly calls it, .3 under par.

Tiger Woods: [tries walking straight line, but keeps veering off to one side or the other]

Only advice I can give to any new golfer: Please take a lesson or 2 to teach you the basics of how to swing.

If there’s nuclear fallout around, giving up and committing suicide is the least-horrible option.

Drive toward the cloud. You don’t want to survive nuclear holocaust.

Only Messi really knows how taxing those ten years were, however.

Since you brought it up, sign the back of your driver’s license or whatever you need to do in your state to be an organ donor. Then TELL YOUR FAMILY you did it and that you want your organs donated to save lives when you die. You won’t need them anymore at that point, anyway.

Nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all.

Cutler is making elite QB money

Just based on the reviews of this model I would stay away from it. Chuck wobble is real and it’s annoying. DeWalt is probably only reducing the price to purge the inventory out.

Just based on the reviews of this model I would stay away from it. Chuck wobble is real and it’s annoying. DeWalt is…

I eagerly await Betsy Prince DeVos’s oversight of Title IX. Baylor makes Blackwater look quaint.

The Baylor football program, police department, and any boosters aware of this need to be drowned in a deep lake.

I still can’t believe Brock Lesnar hasn’t sued the WWE for all the injuries he received from being hit with a metal folding chair when the ref was distracted.