We finally have conclusive proof that while marijuana may not make you kill people, it does at the very least make you do a shitty shitty job of it.

This is why I never store my ammo in my ass.

Players shall sit out the first half of the season opener.

No need to design anything. Clippard pneumatics sells miniature self-relieving regulators that are smaller than a AAA battery and would easily accomplish the task. All that would be needed to adapt such a regulator to a standard inflation needle is a few off the shelf fittings. Total cost would be less than $20 and be…

I hope I'm not the only one that cringes when pop singers sing the Star Spangled Banner.

Fuck Wilson. The dude just up and swims off at the first sign of rough weather. Some friend.

I'm sure this will Qwell all the drama.

Wow, New England, even all of the goddamn oceans are against you.

Ugh.

Hold on Barry, you actually expect me to believe that the NFL knew about a problem and failed to act on it?

This is a production model and can be leased by providing broken toys, crayons, and cool rocks to the dealership on a monthly basis. If you can't make it to the dealership, there's a hotline that you can call to sing parts of the Frozen sound track as payment.

Absolutely zero snark from me on this story. This man's clearly a victim. Anyone who saw more than one Taken movie certainly didn't do so of their own volition.

He's been better this year, but this was only a matter of time. It is a great opportunity to replace him with someone who can actually play hockey.

Psssshhh. Only 14 years of solid income? Bobby Bonilla is not impressed.

I, a reader, learned something that I did not previously know. So, success.

I hope nobody takes his absence personnelly.

did he say "personal reasons" or "personnel reasons"?

"Bel-Z-Bulb Automotive Lighting Company"