I’m 100% sure she did not get the joke.

Jebus what Audo ever did to you?

OH MY GOD THIS IS VERY ACCURATE

What he said, so, no. Plus, the very existence of this condition would inevitably sour the relationship, so, no. Can you imagine when/if the relationship does go South and you’re like, “Motherfucker, I’ve been fucking a goddamned goat for you!”

I bit of romantic music with it...

You can still only fuck it four times a year

WRONG! I have a soulmate and no one can tell me any different.

You’re getting some sass here but you made a fair point.

Well, Pawtiko, when things change and people move apart, that’s about when it’s time to stop fucking the goat and move on with your life. Perfect don’t last forever, but ain’t it worth it to just hold it in your fingers for a little while? With occasional goat fucking?

I too will take the second best match for me amongst the at least 2 billion people in the world of the sexual orientation that I favor and I will use the goat to make chevre.

A better question is, “You just found out your true love has been fucking a goat every three months. Are they still your true love?”

you are fun at parties

Yes.

the worse thing I ever did was cheat - will never do it again. anyone who tells you that hiding it is okay, is someone who can never be trsuted. ever.

I’ve been cheated on, and had to break off an engagement because of it. I will never, under any circumstance, put up with cheating. Getting cheated on is such a miserable, soul-crushing thing to have happen. It murdered my self esteem for years. I know that may seem pretty dramatic, but it was terrible.

“If it was a one-time mistake.”

I think the thing is, you never get to decide for another person whether or not they’d “rather know” or “rather not.” I don’t know how I’d react if my partner told me he was cheating — whether I would want to work it out, whether I’d need a break, etc. I might be really unhappy knowing. But he doesn’t get to pick for…

I don’t think I would ever be able to keep it a secret. It would eat away at me and I would act differently and they would likely notice something is up. I cheated once when I was 19, due to the fact the relationship was over and at 19, I was scared and pretty much just took the easy way out.

If you don’t believe in karma, then this is wonderful advice. Speaking from personal experience (and only that), I would advise to break up if you cheat right away. For whatever reason, that comes back to you somefuckinhow no matter how well you covered your tracks. I am truly convinced of this. It just isn’t worth it…