Why do I insist on reading things like this?

A. We take turns choosing.
B. His motto is "love the one you're with".
C. Boxer briefs, everyone's happy.
D. There's a reason I'm self-employed.

I don't think I'd go so far as to say "as demeaning". After all, these people sort of view men as lovable idiots while they just fucking hate women.

Confusing story about my sister-in-law's cousin making $79 per hour for watching television in the comfort of her own home after she sent money to the nice people at scamyounow.com.

I'm really tired of crap like this painting men as helpless creatures being led around by our dicks.

I've decided that some caffeine might be a good idea this morning. I'm hoping that everything will make much more sense in a few minutes.

And, of course, they were super-duper surprised that Putin doesn't want them at "his" Olympics.

Anymore!

"Robert Pattinson reportedly does not want to be famous before."

There's a reason Woody likes 'em young...

Let's hear it for slightly deaf old ladies who just don't give a damn.

Where's Jason Statham?

Better than being a liar.

;)

Whatever it takes to shift the responsibility away from yourself.

Now you can tell your boss about the time you won the internet.

No.

Don't forget "stole prescription medication from the charity she started".

No one does tie-dye parties for six-year-olds. No one.

It's entirely possible to achieve the same result without adding bullshit details. "I have other plans", anyone?