Watch Seinfeld, masturbate, take long hot baths with ~weed n wine~, drive really fast, go to my bff’s house for dinner with her and her chef parents, play dress up with my roommate, read pieces of Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed, go to parties and flirt with lots of boys, buy expensive perfume (even though…

Probably when I cried in the car on the way home from school sophomore year of high school because the Mormon guy I liked didn’t ask me to homecoming. What’s worse is that the next day I found out that he had planned on asking me but was persuaded not to by one of my guy friends because I wasn’t popular enough.

My parents sleep in separate rooms and have been married for almost 30 years. My parents have always had a queen bed and we’ve always had dogs who sleep on the bed. My parents usually start out the night together in the same bed but my mother gets up to go to the other room because they both snore HORRIBLY and my dad…

I’m just waiting for these guy’s gay orgy scandal news to break.

To be honest, I don’t see how Bath & Body Works isn’t in the same financial situation. Although, they don’t let you use all the coupons at the same time. Sometimes they do and they used to do it if they liked you. I get coupons from them all. the. time. and then they give me MORE at check out. Y’all I am NEVER out of…

This is so French.

I saw Chris Stapleton this summer at Willie Nelson’s 4th of July Picnic outside of Austin and he was FANTASTIC!!!!

I’m pretty sure she also samples Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson on “Confident”

As someone who grew up in Dallas and had many friends go on to join sororities at SMU, I don’t think this is typical behavior of the majority of SMU sorority girls. And this is coming from someone who hates the Greek system. I will admit, I’m biased because while I grew up in an affluent part of town, none of us were…

Tiny Beautiful Things is truly an inspiring book. It will destroy you in the best way.

People who get other people's names tattooed on them (save children and parents name) are just asking for that relationship to dissolve. Two of my good friends from college got each other's names tattooed on each other and barely speak now.

Yes this stuff does really work. I was on the drill team in high school and we had to wear red lipstick at football games. It was a demerit if your lipstick wasn’t straight up perfect and since I was too busy being horny watching the football players with my friends to do constant touch-ups, I needed a long-wear red…

GAWD he used to be so fucking hot

That’s what I thought!

I used to read xoJane all the time until it got so fucking bad that even the book suggestions were horrible (I’m a grown woman and I don’t want to read teen fiction WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND) but I still look at xoVain almost every day because that site is the shit.

This “women are too emotional to be in positions of power” shit is hilarious to me because the MOST emotional people I know who make rash decisions are male. That includes my father who cried on his drive home the other day because I told him thanks for always being there for me as an offhand comment.

Umm how am I supposed to lie to my friends about my whereabouts? I guess I’ll just be leaving my bracelet at home much like how I used to leave my phone at my friend’s houses while we snuck out in high school!

Baseball isn't church and you can be on your phone while at the game. They go pretty slowly so you're gonna have to kill some time. Plus, if you live and/or grew up in a city with a baseball team, it's not so weird to just buy tickets up in the nosebleeds for a day game and go hang out with your friends. My friends…

The club scene set to Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood is GOLD. The rest of the movie is trash.

I fucking love my duck boots. My dad wore them all the time in the winter when I was growing up in Texas (he used to hunt a lot) and when I went to college in Arkansas, I got a pair because it's rainy as hell and I did a lot of outdoor stuff all throughout the winter. They've been through 6 years of wear and don't…