I think they should get all of the Mikes they can. Mike Lupica, Mike Francesa, Mike Wise, Mike Wilbon, Mike Tyson. Just get them all in the same studio, and call the show What You Deserve For Listening to Sports Radio.

*Watersportsgate

-R. Kellyanne

This game raises some serious questions about God. Maybe if He didn’t spend so much time paying attention to college football, He might’ve realized that while He was helping Clemson win a national title, Donald Trump was elected president and a dickload of people died of war, famine, and disease.

Pretty sure she most resembles the Durham Bull.

.... haven’t pulled this one out in a while, but; Dear Mr. Lasner and Dear Husband of Mr. Lasner,

These are the ones that didn’t make the cut.

Yo, seriously, [MAJOR SPOILER ALERT] Vader’s rampage right at the end was probably the most fuckin’ amped I’ve been in a movie theater in years. I felt like my head was going to pop.

This was the first time you got to see Vader be truly terrifying as well. Holy shit that walk down the hallway!

She used physical force, so she fucking deserved it. Case closed.

Buck Lives Matter

Well, it’s like this: The NFL has this “color rush” thing they do on Thursday nights that features teams playing in solid-color pajamas. Last year, there was a problem with this in the Bills-Jets game, when they went all-red vs. all-green, turning the game into an interesting experience of “What the fuck is going…

Is it even a hot take anymore to say that Gregg Popovich would make an infinitely better president than Donald Trump? Shit’s insane. I love this man. I say this as someone who rooted against the Spurs and their boring cold grip on championships for many years. The man just always Gets It.

I appreciate their tribute to Craig Sager.

Well, I’ll boycott the Holiday Bowl either way, just to be safe.

I would like to state that I don’t think it is okay to fuck the elephants, under any circumstances.

Man, NPR has been dialing up the sports coverage lately....

What else do they have to talk about, the Jets and Fighting Irish are so abysmal that they defy even half-hearted anguish, and 49 minutes of every Mike & Mike hour is devoted to reading ads anyway.

I feel like after watching this my phone will ring and I’ll have seven days left to live.