It’s what Jim Zorn did. Snyder tried to embarrass him to leave by taking away all his coaching duties, hoping shame would win the day and he’d quit, thus saving him money. Jim, having nothing better to do, chose to stick around and continue cashing checks.

I hereby propose that we start an Internet Rumor that Dan Snyder is courting Dabo Swinney. There’s no downside. Either:

As a restaurant owner, it’s not this simple. If I employ a new health insurance plan (whether by choice or by force of law) that in effect raises my costs 2%, it’s not so simple to just “integrate it into the food prices.” The $8 piece of sushi isn’t now going to be listed at $8.16 on the menu. And before you say I…

Gotta say, that bank is on point with the potential frauds. Hearing “Fan requires $724 worth of beer to get through Dolphins game” sounds uncannily plausible.

Besides being drafted number 1 overall, what has Clowney done to show he is a generational talent? In 5 years, he’s made 2nd team all-pro once. Dude is a solid player, but let’s be real and slow the generational talent talk.

I used to live in Green Bay and saw Gilbert Brown around town a couple times, and there’s no way the bun wasn’t in his mouth when he caught the hot dog.

“I ran into him after the game and apologized, it’s not really the brand of football I really want to represent.”

So, no one’s gonna mention Humphrey’s dressed like it’s the 1970s?

Assuming Humphrey stopped when Odell used his safe word, this seems like a non-issue.

He’s got a 33-32 conference record, in one of the softest major conferences in the country. At WSU, he’s been to the New Mexico, Sun, Holiday, Holiday and Alamo bowl. In 17 full seasons, he’s won zero conference championships.

And from a hidden camera. 

I hate my alma mater for thinking it needs to be, or is even capable of being, a good football team.

“FROM YOU, OK?! I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!”

One way or another, the Patriots’ trip to Buffalo always leads to dildos on the field.

Have they gotten a lot of good press? Pretty much all I’ve heard about them is that their coach is an insane dum-dum.

Couldn’t he have gone to the library and logged in there? Or borrowed a friend’s phone?

It’s worth pointing out that whatever dubious value the polygraph stunt might’ve had as a prompt to get Entercom to take its investigation more seriously, or share their findings with Dunlap and his legal representation, as a defense against official accusations allegedly supported by digital evidence, the results of…

I don’t know ... Operation Handy-Kraft is pretty 2019.

“Listen, Bill, I understand his talent but if anyone here is doing sex crimes, they’ll be paying to get their dick jacked in the back room of a shady massage parlor in Florida, like a respectable adult. You understand me?”