I also remember being really nervous about the boys on my list being rude to me. At that age, boys were so shitty and mean to girls so the whole process was pretty agonizing. I would be very surprised if this was still a thing in middle schools.

"Complete social failure" is a pretty good description of me until I was about 22 or so :) I do like OKCupid, although I haven't used it in several months because I'm living at home for a bit before I move to New York. And even then, I'm making myself live in the city for a year before I date anyone. I've met some…

Oh wow, we ARE twins! I spent the first 22-ish years of my life completely self-conscious about my height. I love it now. Granted, finding pants is kind of a bitch, but everything else is great. I feel so confident about it and I truly would not change it if given the chance.

I know a guy who named his son Hawk, which combines two of this week's Funbag submissions.

Fantastic +1

Totally :)

DataMatch! Yes, that's what it was. I can't believe that was ever a thing. Talk about the quickest way to make kids who are already incredibly awkward (I was six feet tall with scoliosis and braces, start your engines boyyzzz...) feel even MORE awkward at school. Ahhh I'm so glad you remember what it was called…

When I was in junior high in suburban Omaha, one of the school clubs would sell these "love match" things for a few bucks around Valentine's day as a fundraiser. Basically you filled out a short survey about yourself, then it used some highly advanced algorithm (Microsoft Excel, most likely) to generate a list of your…

I am always so delighted by stories involving news networks or public figures reading stories on satirical websites and thinking they're real. How does this happen? How do you ACTUALLY read something on a satire site and think "Oh my god, they've finally done it. They've built an Abortion-plex in the Midwest*. I am…

Throw in something about Harry stealing Taylor's Nano Baby and NOT FEEDING IT so it died and then Taylor had to re-set it after like five months of having it and you've pretty much nailed my fifth grade drama. Then Taylor was like "Whatever, he's NOT invited to my first boy/girl house party so joke's on him. ALL his…

I almost lost it at the little dachshund at the end of the promo video. I WILL ADOPT YOU AND WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

Ha! Well done.

I know this is way too simple and it's kind of a non-answer to your very good question—but the reason these guys defend Te'o's idiocy is that they are idiots themselves. Half the reason I come to this site so frequently is that I'm fascinated by the discussion about sports and the heated nature of said discussion when…

Yes! Aaaaahahahaha...

"Honey you know sarcasm isn't lady-like. While don't you show me that pretty smile and fetch me a scotch instead?"

Billy Eichner is pretty funny on Twitter, even if 80% of his tweets are just inside-jokey conversations with Julie Klausner. Not complaining, they're both awesome.

Nothing gets me to insta-click on a post faster than a photo from "Now & Then." Thank you for posting this instead of a screenshot from a scene in "Girls."

Nope. That was my initial thought reading the headline.. "of COURSE Rex Ryan drives a Mustang."

Well, a lot of guys who do things like that only need to be told once to knock it off and they change their behavior. If this guy doesn't change, I hope you have some sort of recourse or an HR person you can speak to about it.

Ahh! I'm so glad they were able to reattach it. I think it's so fascinating how they're able to do that under the right circumstances. Happy healing. And be CAREFUL (in my best "mom" voice)...