women be hoppin’

Unpopular opinion: I HATE THE PROPERTY BROTHERS.

“Robert E. Lee” came in second.

Is that supposed to look like a USB outlet because they’re the Chargers?

“Skipper Bruce Bochy should find a way to get this guy more at-bats.”

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

When I was a summer associate at a law firm that specialized in defense-side civil litigation, one of my biggest jobs was to go around shoving old people into the mud and then dropping a fax machine on them as they struggle to get up and then having my secretary fax them an invoice for one million dollars.

Christ Rocket League died for your sins.

“Your job doesn’t stop until you’re voted out, or until your term expires,” Obama said of the Senate,

Exactly. He’s the executive producer of the Entourage movie and he was in Transformers: Age of Extinction and Daddy’s Home.

He was a good vibration short of feeling a sweet sensation.

“Hopefully it is an isolated case.”

Life when so much simpler when you could just drain your blood from yourself, separate the red blood cells with a centrifuge, have your team carry it around in a cooler on dry ice while hiding it from officials, and then give yourself a transfusion of your own blood before a race.

This is tasteless and I don’t care for it. My infant daughters saw that image and now they’re all screaming in unison. Thanks, Deadspin.

My friend (who is a doctor in the deep south) asks her patients if they would like to put on their headphones because she is legally obligated to say stuff that is medically untrue before she begins. Let’s say that again. SHE IS A REAL DOCTOR WHO IS FORCED TO RECITE A SCRIPT OF MEDICALLY UNTRUE INFORMATION! The only…

I get your point but we need to stop invoking rape to defend a woman’s right to an abortion. Most women who get abortions are not victims of rape and incest. And that’s fine. Every woman who has a reason they don’t want to have a baby has a good reason.

Cam is unstoppable! Sarah is gonna be so pissed when Cam beats the Cardinals this Sunday, flies to Seattle, dances on her front lawn, makes her daughter fall in love with him, marries her daughter fifteen months later at a small ceremony for immediate family only in Kauai, raises her grandchildren to be Panthers fans,…

I think the most unbelievable part of the patrolman’s story is that he didn’t repeatedly shoot Chandler Jones.

The ACA rollout wasn’t successful. It was a political disaster. I really like Sebelius, and she took responsibility as a manager. But let's not pretend that went well.