My husband cannot throw the ball and fetch the ball.

This is all the proof you really need.

The solution to disproportionate responses by the government to persons of color is not to call for disproportionate responses by the government to white people. It’s to stop disproportionate responses against persons of color.

After a while it gets boring bringing your trucks to the same spot at the far end of the Walmart parking lot and you start thinking “guys, what if maybe there’s more to life”

That’s a polar bear you dunce.

Tennessee Titans.

Hard to say for sure, but I thought it was 5 on 1 and 2 on the other.

“The problem with his hips is normal for someone of his height,”

Michigan Football Fan Proposes Unlikely Best Case Scenario About Something Famous Michigan Quarterback Said

In a year of truly important sports investigations done by Deadspin, this is the apex.

Top 10 Cheesecake Factory Cheesed Cakes

Technically it’s G-D-A-E on any violin

Making this post public invites questions about the site’s editorial process. Who the hell signed off on this?

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.

Calm down.

A-

Friends, here I am in my hat and my bones are now sand. I try to make the club push the ball to the flat circle and all I get is a twist and a screech and oops my liver has divorced itself from my body and now lives in Malibu with a beautiful husband named Rick. I drove my helicopter to my private swinging course and…

Nihilist Tiger’s PR team should reach out to Nihilist Arby’s for an endorsement deal.

It hasn't been as widely reported, but Andy Dalton was also walking gingerly after their game.

Before any of you get on Patrick for not mentioning the injury that defined this game, remember that Petchesky is holding a gun to his head while daring him to mention #87 on New England.