It might be easier to name sauces you wouldn’t put on fries. I’d probably eat all of the mother sauces on fries. All the ketchups, mustards, hot sauces. I’ve had mayos on fries, too. Not sure.

This is true. Now that this microscope is on this lawsuit situation, we will see who Luann is really sleeping with, so to speak.

Jealousy seems to be a bad factor here. I hate that feeling like someone is trying to control me or who I hang out with. If she can’t trust you, you’ve got some real problems. I remember watching Ricki Lake back in the 90's and there is always someone in the audience saying, “You just need to dump him and find…

So, where do you land exactly? I’m more of a lover, not a fighter (in Michael Jackson voice talking to Paul McCartney).

The second phrase would be: “Kevin, if you want to be wrong, at least be wrong with a bullet”

Clearly these are just plain lukewarm takes. Kevin, if you want to be wrong, at least be wrong with a bullet: “STEAK FRIES ARE LIKE EATING THE BRAINS & HEARTS OF CHILDREN, AND RED ROBIN SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN FOR VIOLATING THE SANCTITY OF LIFE!”

Buy more cheese, people!

Hey, even I was wrong once. Just once though. You know, if you count per hour or minute or second or whatever the base unit of time might be.

I rely on marketing to tell me what’s good, which is probably why I use Axe.

That’s the spirit! Don’t let those things hold you back. You can do anything you set your mind to!

You should now try this will vodka-cran and see if that helps. I have a feeling that you may get lost and wind up ‘best friends with these super cool people I just met over there somewhere’. But, you never know until you try!

So it is written in the scents of thyme and on the sacred napkin at the BBQ Palace where the sauce smeared shows the image of a dead eagle and the remnants of a dead arrowhead.

Be careful where you say that phrase.

The only day I would be willing to eat their food is Sunday, when I am worshiping at the holy alter of Andy Reid, who consumes any and all.

Good for me: I’m not a soccer mom or a grandparent, so my dollars are spent on other terrible food options, like P.F. Changs and Bud Light.

This is the real life time when you would love to see a New Age Outlaws/DX wrestling dialogue come to life, maybe even something along the lines of The Rock talking shit back in his heyday.

Earthworms are my friends who I love to see in my garden. Cows & steers, chickens, ducks, pigs, deer, and whatever it is they serve on a bun at Rally’s is just fine with me. Not earthworms. Or lady bugs. Or butterflies. Maybe on unicorns, but only if they are rare.

You know, the places around me that use the tablets are not places you want to eat at in the first place: Applebee’s, Chili’s, other shitty chain restaurants.

When I got in my 30's, I cut down from one supersized fries and one large fries to having just the one large fries. I should be good for another 50 years.