What I heard there was “I can’t possibly know which of the nine dozen women I’ve inappropriately texted you’re referencing.”

How do famous people get into relationships so quickly? I meet someone I can stand about once every five years.

I’d prefer a bloodied sheet hanging out the window, thanks.

It does, actually. It’s like a very squeaky, very quiet fart.

I read it more as we should be surprised that a website devoted to porn actually gave out a real scholarship. When I first heard “porn hub scholarship,” I immediately thought it was a scam designed to get barely legal girls to submit homemade porn to the site under the guise of “scholarship.”

“Just a few days ago, Pornhub announced the winner to be a 48-year-old Texan woman named MaryAnn Uribe.

For some weird reason, my father told me that if you cut off your belly button, your butt would fall off. This fucking fascinated me, and I would spent way too much time thinking about what the inner workings of the human body could possibly be to make sure a thing happen.

That I can make myself straight.

Had no clue what AAs meant for a minute. Was thinking “there was a lot of alcoholic anonymous in the neighborhood? That was a problem?”

a colleague of mine is going through his FOURTH divorce. another one has 5 kids by 3 wives, and he’s not even 45 yet. the national head of our department is on his third, and doesn’t really hide his proclivity of hanging out with prostitutes.

I’m sure she’ll be treated the same as say, a male African American drug dealer with no DEA agent father?

DISAGREE.

I don’t care what KK does one way or the other, but wouldn’t it be a brilliant PR move for her to get Kanye to donate 1 million dollars to mothers living below the poverty line who get no paid maternity leave as a “push present”?

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

“Like many young men, he got a little too curious about sexual assault. Please pray for our family as we continue to trust in God’s plan.”

But they could afford it. Her job just didn’t give her enough leave.

It also sounds like a problem with our healthcare system that she couldn’t leave her job because she was the one with the benefits.

Jerking off to the thought of denying refugee children entry to America.

I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.