NO MIXED DANCING

.....but why are there spiders on top of the egg?

What about BARACK OBAMA????

Wow guys, we're the worst, aren't we? And we also voted for Corgis, the most annoying dogs ever, and pie over cake. I think we need to stop doing these brackets and ask ourselves some hard questions.

Imma let you finish Madeleine but John Gallagher Jr. as Moritz is my everything. I'll go with the tortured soul over the hot lead any day of the week, thank you very much.

Desiree all the way!

My four-year-old loves GoGurt, and since it's not that much more sugary than any other kind of yogurt and he'll actually eat it, I'm sticking with it. Parenting = lowering your standards.

I love that his "trick" is just being a real person. He's just the awkward, sincere, profane dude that he is, and he doesn't pretend to be anything else.

But WHAT IF you didn't look both ways and you got hit with a penis?? Whose fault is it then HMMMM???

That picture! BOW BEFORE MY GLORIOUS OFF-LIMITS TWAT IN SHAME, WARMONGERS.

Yeah that would make me quit being her bridesmaid. Ugh.

God I remember sitting in my kitchen and crying because I had been so weak as to eat an entire brownie two weeks before my wedding. The Horror.

Between James Lewis on SVU and Pornstache, I'm beginning to think Pablo Schreiber is building a career around playing the worst people ever.

YES, exactly what I felt. Looking at those pictures of Adam Lanza as an innocent little kid, I feel so sad, and inexplicably, probably unfairly angry toward his father for saying that. A lot happens in between being born and killing 27 people.

A red spotlight? That is ridiculous.

I was on Twitter during the Oscars and some comedian I follow - I forget who - wrote, "Lupita Nyong'o. More like 12 Years a Babe, amirite?" I admit I smirked. But I did not retweet!

Kids, man. They're the most important things in our lives, we would jump in front of a train for them, but goddamn does it suck to have to spend time with them. What's with that?

"Brian Krakow cosplay"

I.e. Brian Krakow, my first love. Catalano can go fuck a duck.

Lesbian BDSM and acting out Sondheim musicals. Obviously.