"We are sorry for showing you this photo, But it's what we do."

This is obviously the frock of a witch. Burn it. Every time I look, it's a different shade. I'm about to blame the cat, since he's obviously in on it. #morewineplease

this is bulling

BEARS NOW IS NOT THE TIME I AM IN CRISIS

It is indeed fucking ugly. And in the meantime, LLAMAS motherfuckers. LLAMAS.

Using five promiscuous women as his case studies, McBroom introduces us to five archetypes: Insecure Minx, Bohemian Rebel, Messalina Reincarnate, Homosexual, and Love Starved Woman. AND WITH THEIR POWERS COMBINED THEY SUMMON CAPTAIN HARLOT!

So, I guess my kid will drink from the toilet.

If this extends past food, then my child will be ruthlessly teased and called a "weirdo" for doing mundane but silly things.

Also, this post, picture and gif go so fucking well together.

Me as a parent:

Too bad for Harry. Just missed the opportunity to get himself into a relationship with English royalty.

I just wanted to share the quilt I made for my boyfriend's cousin. She's pregnant and I'm giving it to her at her baby shower. This is just the top, I had to send it out to be quilted because I couldn't handle it. This is the first quilt I've ever made, and I'm really proud of how it turned out.

Not me, but my daughter became consumed with horses around age 4. She liked to gallop around and neigh, and would not answer to me in public unless I called her by the horse name she chose for herself..."Whitey."

Oh, I'm right there with you. Black girl, private school, wanted to be a Russian spy when I grew up.

I wrote a letter to Mrs. Claus saying I "thought she would like a letter because her husband gets so much mail, and I thought she might feel overlooked when she was still an important part of Christmas".

When I was in second grade, I got in trouble for writing an essay declaring that I wanted to be a bond girl when I grew up. I thought it was a fabulous career choice because they wore pretty clothes , drove nice cars and got to smooch Bond. Unfortunately, the nuns and faculty at my Catholic school didn't agree and…

When I was in 2nd grade, my class made gingerbread cookies. The teachers orchestrated an elaborate ruse where they pretended the gingerbread cookies ran away. They left flour trails around the school, and wrote messages from the gingerbread cookies with chalk. Messages like "Run run as fast as you can, can't catch…

My siblings and I used to play a game called "Suicide." First, you have to know that we lived in one of those old buildings that had ledges in front of the windows that were wide enough for an adult to walk on (although carefully) so it was no problem for a kid to stand on. Second, we lived in an apartment building…

When my dad was driving my brother, his friend and me home from school when I was in kindergarten, his friend was talking about how his class was having a Thanksgiving play. I thought to myself, "I want to be in a Thanksgiving play", so I chimed in that my class was having one too! I said that there were so many…