IANAL, but to be slander or defamation, doesn't it have to be false? How are they going to go about proving that?

You leave him out of this.

I am pretty squarely this:.

Cut my penis of once, shame on you. Cut my penis off twice...QUIT CUTTING MY PENIS OFF!!!

How dare you imply that Jeremy Renner would ever move to Phoenix.

At last, evidence that you should always bring Spears to a knife fight.

Just for 24 hours, in honor of this post, I cordially request all the star button recommendations on Kinja be changed to that adorable vagina face. (And that's not a sentence I will write again in a hurry).

I want to give you all the vaginas, all of them.

Are crotch eyes like crotch unicorns?

Pretty inaccurate IMO... most people have their crotch eyes removed shortly after birth.

"First, let me say, people today love being offended. I think it's a symptom of social media and the feeling of self importance it enables." She adds, "I've had the good fortune to go to Bali multiples times and I can tell you this is exactly what you'd find there."

She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm.

That last chef is more manly than 100 of me.

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

Let us all remember Saint Basil and his gallant sacrifice, amen.

Depending on where you get it, it can actually be not that great. It's really more of a melted butter delivery vector than actual quality foodstuff in its own right. If you just get some imitation crabmeat and melt some butter for dipping, you'll get a rough amalgam of a cheap lobster dinner.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

Honestly, the obsession with lobster baffles me. I'm allergic, and people flip the fuck out when they find out I've never had lobster. I have been told by multiple people, no joke, to eat some in the hospital parking lot then go in. Just so I can say I've had lobster.

Good luck with the Bar! I was personally told that no one ever fails the essays, yet I happened to do so by one freaking point. I totally don't have any resentment about this, lol.

I am finally on the way to living in my own home and getting out of my parent's house. Yay! Although it is still property owned by them, I will be paying rent and have my own space.