[looks at calendar]

Something something tits.

Leslie Ann Warren?

Remember when all the punk greats were like "Oh, that sucks. I'll go ahead and shut up about it."

Nothing is more punk than not protesting.

Yes, but Warped has to have more money.

Oh, I can answer that:

So if she's an asshole, doesn't that mean she's truly upholding the punk aesthetic?

YEAH. Punk means opening a CBGB in an airport as a punk-themed Applebee's because you want to do it and it's pissing off somebody!

I only trade in large fuck munitions. For me, it's a Sex Bomb or nothing.

Buddy, you might have money, but do you have washed up old punk rocker who was never that successful to begin with money?

Joke's on them, they're already off.

This is obviously a LIE because I am obviously not going to roll a bard, christ.

Gonna make me a D&D character named Arrowshootguy who is a bard, just to spite you.

He's also not a bard FUCK YOU TOLKIEN

I thought Jamie Foxx discovere dhim. That's what a different article from earlier in this <insert timeframe=""> said, that I merely glossed over on my way to a stroke.

Have my 30 years of pasty redheadedness been secretly lusted after?

He is?

Christ, what an asshole.

Please.