As long as it shits all over those fools, Xenu has no problem with this.

Back off… Xenu appears every night in Moss's dreams. He seduces her (successfully of course), and one of these nights she will realize her error and leave the disgusting Hubbard cult.

Would an exploding VOLCANO suffice?

No, Xenu LOVES this! While O'Neal believes that it will help their marriage, Xenu is sure that this horrible couple will be driven further apart when required to actually spend TIME together.  One more "happy" Scientologist couple DESTROYED!!!!

If Xenu were the sort to apologize, he would apologize for his brief absence while coordinating your recent earthquake. However, Xenu is NOT going to do ANY APOLOGIZING WHATSOEVER, so GET BACK TO WORK before you get a probe in an unexpected orifice!!!!

You pathetic clam!  Xenu is opposed to Scientology and all Scientologists!  Xenu celebrates every time a man-animal suffers, but ESPECIALLY when that man- (or woman-)animal is a despicable follower of Hubbard.  And when it is one of your puny Teegeeack celebrities? Well, that's just icing on the fucking cake of pain.

Xenu has no problem with that.

On Teegeeack, body thetans have custody of YOU!

Clams do NOT have access to sexbots! Productivity on Teegeeack would PLUMMET!! However, you may have all the paindroids you can handle.  Unless that shit turns you on, in which case, Xenu may need to have a private consultation with you.

Xenu understands that changes have been made WITHOUT CONSULTING HIM FIRST!!!!!  Phipps will PAY FOR THIS!! Oh yes, Phipps will PAY!!!!!!

Xenu will be there, provided there are sufficient space courtesans, sexbots, and miscellaneous pleasure devices to fill his rapacious needs.

That is a lie! NOBODY preferred "Manimal". It was a less-successful implant that was accidentally released from the Space Opera Laboratory. It was awful, but not awful *enough* for Xenu. The producer of that little gem was exiled to the Viagra mines of Priapus VII. Talk about "hard rock mining"! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh, fuck
That's it. Xenu is going home for the day. Enough of this bullshit.

Jiggy
If any of you clams support this idiot Hubbardite, you will be getting jiggy with a fleet of paindroids.

That planet is not nearly as fun as it used to be….

Wrong.

Hello?
Is that you, Moroni? Yes, I heard about it…. Yes, Xenu understands how excited you must be…. No, of course not, it's very respectful *snort*. No, no, Xenu was just coughing a little bit. Anyway, things are really busy around here today and… no, no, don't worry about the language. Remember, it's "sweet" and…

What??? Cease your nonsensical ravings! As if lowly beings such as yourself are privy to the secret storeplanets of the Galactic Overlord! Be silent!

Excellent!
Xenu just remembered, there is a new model sexbot under development… this female should serve nicely as a template.

Zsasz, it's beings like you that remind Xenu why he continues to come in to work every day. Well, the sexbots are pretty good, too.