What??? Bieber has backed down! Hubbard’s goons must have gotten to him. Typical cowardly man-animal. Xenu is disgusted, as usual.

UNLESS THIS IS SPACE-STEVE ALLEN, YOU’RE STEALING XENU’S BIT!!!

DON’T THINK YOU CAN JUST ESCAPE LIKE THAT O’NEAL!!!!

This was a very subtle warning about the paindroids. XENU will not be MOCKED!

*mmmph* What? Really? REALLY????? THIS IS THE BEST THE HUBBARDITES CAN DO??? Oh YES, Xenu WANTS you to BRING IT ON! Then sit back and enjoy the fleet of pain-droids that are RIGHT NOW zeroing in on each and every clam who was in, has watched, or has heard of THIS VIDEO. Your GOLDEN AGE OF TECH? More like a golden age…

Xenu has been out of the galaxy for the last few days attending to some very important business involving the Mysterious Planet Tau, the Andromeda Galaxy, and a class-4 sexbot.

For your service to the GALAXY, you will receive a coupon good for ONE FREE PASS the next time a paindroid is sent your way. This doesn’t mean you won’t receive the PAIN TREATMENT, but you won’t be charged.

RATBRAINS! Stay AWAY FROM THIS HUBBARDITE... wait... what is this??? A KINJA GLITCH, a TYPO, or an IMPOSTOR?!?!?!?!

You RATBRAINED MAN ANIMALS think that you have WON???

WHAT???? That was Xenu's favorite gimmick account! The ratbrains at AVClub HQ will be getting a long, unpleasant experience with some long, unpleasant paindroid probes.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

"Bad" is a matter of perspective, rat-brain.

ATTENTION ALL INHABITANTS OF TEEGEEACK:

Indeed.

Close… but instead of "eternal happiness in the presence of the Lord", think "eternal suffering in the trans-dimensional acid mines of The Mysterious Planet Tau".

Xenu does not care to have this much conversation with a sexbot.

The usual: burning out sexbots, dispatching paindroids…

Oh, Neil deGrasse Tyson knows all about Xenu.

And that's really saying something, isn't it?

MWAHAHAHAHA! Celebrate your "freedom", rat-brains! Without the tech needed to escape your Thetan heritage and get clear, you are all just pawns in a galactic game about which you can do nothing. NOTHING! NOOOOTHINGGGG!!!!!