Don't mention that urchin's name again!

Republican? Bah! Cheney was good, but the rest have gone soft. Sure, Gingrich and Palin and Pawlenty can all bring the pain, but they just don't have it in them to full-on commit to the INFLICTION OF SUFFERING!

Xenu's thoughts are far beyond the capability of your miserable human "brains" to comprehend. Only the so-called "Mad Arab" Abdul Alhazred ever attempted to do this, and we all know what happened to him, don't we???

What???? Xenu has nothing to do with this musical!

Evil??? EVIL???? YOU try being Galactic Overlord for a week and see if YOU don't wipe out a few planets here and there. It just CAN'T BE HELPED!

@Donkey Lips: A "kilton" is a unit of measure used on the Planet of the Scotsmen. Since all sentient beings know that Scotsmen are horrifying brutes who wear kilts, it should be obvious that a "kilton" is the amount of cocaine that can be wrapped in a ton of kilts.

*snort*

Superposition
Xenu has just ordered Will Smith to be superimposed on the business end of a paindroid.

Paindroids for the lot of you disrespectful clams.

Xenu reminds all of you puny man-animals that you are NOT to see or hear any movies, television shows, music, "vlogs", or any other media products associated in any way with any of those notorious Hubbardites. Failure to comply will result in additional suffering beyond that which is your ordinary daily allotment.

Thank you, Megan Ellison!
Xenu is pleased, as Megan Ellison is doing her part to block the pernicious Hubbard cult on Teegeeack. As a reward, Xenu is sending her 2 sexbots of the gender(s) of her choosing.

Xenu does not bless; Xenu smites, eviscerates, enturbulates, and, if the mood is right, sexes up. But bless? No fucking way.

Puny man-animals… speculating about the sexual orientations of your favorite celebrities. Xenu has long known the truth about Travolta and Cruise. Would you like to know the truth, clams? WOULD YOU? Well, YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO COMPREHEND THE TRUTH!!!! Teegeeack is NOT READY FOR IT!!

You puny man-animals will believe in anything. Did you know that the word "gullible" is not in the dictionary???

PAINDROIDS EN ROUTE TO SMITH RESIDENCE!

If you clams are taking yourselves as evidence of there being intelligent life in this galaxy, you're giving yourselves TOO MUCH CREDIT!

Neil Peart and Xenu share an appreciation for Ayn Rand. That was one sexy, sexy lady, for a human. And a freak to boot. There's a reason the best selling sexbot model is the "Randroid".

Clams, you forget… Xenu is OPPOSED to Scientology in all its forms. Scientology was Hubbard's attempt to overcome Xenu's famous Wall of Fire and bring his followers up to OT levels. Only by keeping you miserable man-animals in a constant state of ignorance and suffering can Xenu hope to prevent Hubbard's technology…

FUCK!
This should have been taken care of already… MINIONS! WHY DOES THE YOUNG SMITH GIRL STILL LIVE??? You will pay for your incompetence!!!! PAY!!!

Are there space planes? Supervillains? Exploding volcanos? No? Then Xenu had nothing to do with it.