I can hear the design conversation: “You know that corner booth at Denny’s? What if we turned that into the back seat?”

“Doth I read an article making mild jest of a known and rather amusing quirk of a head coach? Well then I must retort with a deflection toward a completely unrelated subject regarding a completely unrelated team. O, how pithy mine wit be!”

Of interest: The porn industry is quicker to drop someone over allegations of rape than the NFL or NCAA.

People who wait to think about what they want until the bartender is ready for them deserve to be pulled apart by wolves.

Why did you get married when you were 16?

Girlfriend’s Answer: Get me a Victoria’s Secret gift card honey, thanks.

If you buy your lady some nice lingerie, I suggest buying yourself some nice shorts so when your women walks into the bedroom wearing the sexy outfit that you're not standing there in your skid marked BVDs.

Pick it out together or don’t pick it out at all would be my suggestion.

“It’s advocating co-ed showers.”

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking this. I play with/scare my cat all the time and he’s totally normal. I think people coddle their cats a little too much sometimes. Btw, tried the cucumber thing and my just looked at it and then gave me an insolent stare... like normal.

Seriously. My cat is outside during the day when it’s warm, I assure you there are at least one or two sticks in my backyard that look like snakes. She’d never go out there if she were truly terrified of snake shaped objects.

Agreed. I think people are making too big a deal out of this. Things startle cats all the time. If they were all really harmed by this, there would be a world full of very pathetic terrified cats; there aren’t.

Spoken as someone who loves cats, this is ridiculous. Cats ambush each other all the time out of playfulness, and their standard ‘holy shit’-response is to leap into the air. Hell, when my oldest cat was young he was lonely, so I sometimes hid behind corners just to play with him. Today he is the safest, most…

It only really becomes a pain in the ass when...

Yes, you are the only one.

Tony Bourdain has always tried to position himself at the cool kids’ table, with his fellow cool guy cooks from NYC, and then rips on pretty much anyone who isn’t a part of that group ... it’s tiresome.

Cannot stand the Drummonds, or that bitch from Farmhouse Rules to replace Paula Deen.

“Unlike Pioneer Woman and her fake homespun persona/story”

I used to watch Bourdain’s shows, but I got tired of his pompous attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I think Fieri is a flaming d-bag, it’s just that Bourdain’s the polar opposite, he comes off as an elitist d-bag when he describes the places he visits and the foods that he has eaten. I say give them both chef knives and…

Why would he have done anything to reduce the chance of someone else encountering the poop? Doesn't he have a notion of the inherent hilarity when someone unexpectedly meets a turd?