9. Top Ten Things Lincoln Would Say If He Was Here Today.

Schindler's List?

They can't get Dr. Ruth for one last visit?

Great, now all I can think of is that someone needs to re-subtitle Downfall with Hitler ranting about Dowd giving this an A-

If the apocolypse can't get women to shut up, nothing will. Am I right guys?

The nuns always said that would make your dick fall off.

You haven't been to the right neighborhoods.

Little known fact:

And now you know the rest of the story.

I know. I just couldn't resist the quote.

He didn't say it was Alex Trebec. He just said it looked like Alex Trebec.

Sadly the "Brady Rule" prevents people on the internet from comparing Tom Brady to Hitler.

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Oh, you think a light cycle will be a lot if fun till you find yourself in a death spiral.

I think they mean "Fully Functional" like Data. In other words, it's fuckable.

I thought it had good fat marbling.

I thought she changed her name to AppleGHAZI!!!!

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Filled with stinking creatures ravaged by STDs?

Does this mean Rodger is real?