It sounds like Derrick Rose leads a very, very empty and depressing life.

No dick pics beforehand? I’m disappointed.

HE....COULD...GO...ALL...THE.WAY...

That’s sweet and all but the more pressing issue is- who is that Jewish goddess sitting behind them? Wow.

He’s so high.

Yes. Sitting in a chair and flipping off the police is really going to change things. Urban attention seeker.

After two games, I think Wentz may end up becoming the greatest quarterback in history.

Is that Anthony Fucking Kiedis? That does sound like a horrible experience.

Jimmy’s fine, don’t worry about Jimmy.

The future of America folks. Be hopeful you are old enough to not see garbage people like this in power.

So much has changed since these athletes started taking a knee during the national anthem, such as...the media talking about them doing so and people arguing if it’s disrespectful or their right.

You should have called it a dong or donger- absolutely hilarious when you do that over and over. Such a great site!

This is routinely the dumbest, saddest column on the internet. Poop, poop, stare at your butthole for money, rock and roll!, more poop!

Disrespectful! Sad!

Finally football is back! Whoo!

Baggarly once told me on twitter that my disagreement with his opinion on something “didn’t matter” since I had less followers than him.

Unfortunately, yes.

Madcap? Really? Audacious maybe, even a little heedless, but this isn’t what I’d call a madcap dash.

Worst. Swoon. Ever.

HOLY SHIT he’s gone crazy! “We make millions?” He hasn’t had a job in years!