I couldn't decide if I should change it or leave it as is. I couldn't think of anything fast enough so I went for the lazier option.

"What is best in business?"
"Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women."

Hmmm yes. Those are certainly names.

"My love for you is like a truck, DARTHVADER!
Would you like some making fuck, DARTHVADER!"
-Kylo Ren

It was only a matter of time after we let the gays marry!

Oranges: The New Black

GLAAD MAX*

"I've been thinking a lot and I haven't been close with anyone since my husband died, but..I-I think I'm in love with you."

WHERE'S MAD MAX?!

"This is so tandem!"
"Random, Jenna. Those kids are saying the word random."
-Nickelodeon Executives

That's pretty much exactly what's happening right now. I'M the asshole because I already had plans and I'm pretty much being forced to drop them because of it

If the religious portion of my family dislikes him, he has to be doing something right.

*clinks glass in solidarity*
*also drinks*

Tinder is the worst. I've had it for years and hardly got any matches in the beginning and have not had a single match in months. Nothing ever came from any of the matches either.

Make it a double.

Fuck that my friend has no respect for my schedule. I already told him that I have plans on Thursday, which while nothing major is still kind of important to me, and he wants me to completely change my schedule to make things easier on him. It's always been that way and it's fucking annoying.

Congratulations! I'm so jealous I just want to strangle you!

I was going to go for another Andrew Jackson Jihad song "Hate Rain on Me" since I relate to it all too well. I mean it starts with a beer cracking and also has the lyrics "I want to put on my sweatpants. But don't you know I'm trying to quit. I want to give a shit again." Pretty much sums up my life and views on it.

Same, after I read "consistency of wet paper towels" I just abandoned ship. SO HARD.

Garlic and sadness with a hint of maple syrup.