Chris Brown fans own twitter. Springsteen fans own your company and the comment sections of Yahoo and Facebook.

Bruce Springsteen fanboys not on the list? Entire list invalid.

I have never driven faster or better than the day that my mother-in-law called me and told me that my 11 month old was turning blue with croup and needed to go to the hospital. My normally 10 minute drive home from work took 6, and the 15 minute drive to the closest ER took 10.

Queso >>>>> Guacamole

The DOL, as I understand it, has actually moved on this over the last several years especially in the construction trades.

Yeah, I’m nothing special* by any stretch of the word but I beat that SAT score in 7th grade.

Please identify the corporate accounting department that will sign-off on the 65,000 miles of upgrades to economy plus per year at $25-40 per segment. I would like to work there.

Who puts a dollar coin in a wallet? Have you no pockets?

Deep Eddy? That’s too rich for my blood. EJ Burnett’s at $6 for a fifth will do the trick.

Otherwise known as the John Daly.

And that’s the kind of entrepreneurial vision that made this country...this country.

Sweet Tea Vodka > Hot Damn > Fireball.

This didn’t surprise any of you, did it? Both Adam Scott and Paul Rudd have always seemed like the kinds of guys who think they’re dicks are the funniest things on the planet

It’s a fine beer unworthy of its disgusting name.

Buffalo Sweat or nothing. All of their other products are gross.

That is why all men should have a healthy supply of knee socks to be worn with all dress pants. The only visual worse than a hairy sliver of calf between sock and trouser is a similar section of buttocks between trouser and shirt. Neither is acceptable.

Videogruffer? I'll show myself out

Because there are only so many summer months and nobody in the Midwest/South wants to get married in the rainy season, the winter, or football season.

This is the worst of all literal and figurative HOT TAEKS. Air conditioning now, air conditioning forever.

Replying to this because it reminded me that I saw an obviously wildly hungover Vince Vaughn in Chicago 5ish years ago puke in the street outside of the Tribune building. It was 2pm on a Wednesday. He was unshaven and wearing a black velvet track suit and had just gotten out of a Yukon with 3-4 suits. He projectile…