"For the record, I hold astrology in a kind of half-jokey/half-admiring regard. Like so many woo-woo things that aren't supposed to do jack-shit yet have millions of swear-by advocates, it's somehow simultaneously nonsensical and dead-on, and in a way that weirdly contradictory aspect of it earns my respect.

What if somebody told you to masturbate for prostate cancer awareness?

That's sickening. "Get yourself off on camera for us. You know, it's a choice and everything, but you wouldn't want footage of you refusing to fight female genital mutatilation to go on the internet would you? Didn't think so, now molest yourself for us."