Kitchen sink: [falls off, shatters]

I’d say this is a shit show, but the aquatic events haven’t started yet.

It’s in the media village, so they clearly did their research and discovered zero is the number of condoms most reporters will need.

I thought Sochi was a shit hole of an Olympic host. Didn’t think anyone can top that. Thanks Brazil for proving me wrong.

You’d think Green would wait to get to Rio to go viral.

Ah, so this is what they meant when they said Draymond was “undersized” for his position.

Sending out dick-picks via Snapchat is a risky move. All it takes is a little slip of the finger and you’ve accidentally sent it to an unintended target, and then that’s it, brother. I was with a group of friends last year when one of the girls got a snapchat from her brother and it was his dick. She started screaming…

Oh neat, it looks like Neapolitan ice cream.

I think I speak for everyone when I say “meh”

To be fair, how could they have possibly predicted wind at the sailing venue?

Considering what the rivers in Rio are actually full of, blood might be an improvement...

At the Copa...Copacabana.

Flesh eating antibiotic resistant bacteria?

If Costas got pink eye in Sochi, what's in store for him in Rio? The clap? Herpes?

Trump breathes oxygen like the rest of us but he exhales pure bullshit.

Donald Trump: So full of shit, he makes the NFL look like a credible organization.

I’m starting* to think Trump is a pathological liar. He constantly lies about trivial things, his lies are instantly and easily exposed, yet he continues on as if nothing happened. Take for instance all the supposed speakers at the convention. Right after he says Big Ben and Tebow will be there, it’s immediately shot…

Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…

I mean, the Olympics suck and I never watch them, but now that I know every athlete is at risk of being murdered by fake cops or swimming in real shit I might watch now.