Pirates

I would really like to give you more than one star for this for making me audibly laugh at my desk.

Maybe they meant orphaned at 13?

Maybe in the era of Facebook, its a lot less necessary, though.

Roy is everything

Still not as awful as the "family note" that goes in every card letting us know how many times little Jimmy spit up at Thanksgiving dinner.

So much freedom this weekend. Beating Japan and Germany in a match of skill you say? Well that sounds familiar...

This guy was the real MVP of the game

In today's weather report from hell, the high will be 0 degrees.

Don't care, will watch.

We wrote “and family” on our invites, namely because the ones with four kids and a long last name I’d have a hard time trying to fit that on the outside of an envelope or place card.

I have a kid and I can tell you right now, I will definitely not be pissed off if you don’t want our kid to come to your wedding. It’s considered date night then, and we love that shit.

These guys sound like assholes. Good for the restaurant!

NO

This is really the only acceptable response to this nonsense.

This is how I feel every time I see one of these pictures pop up...

I was stressed that Joe would finally see me for who I really was: a deeply indebted con lady with an incredibly well-appointed liquid eyeliner arsenal, who didn’t know how to save a single penny

Wait till they go back to the Drachma. You could basically be the richest person in Greece with $500.

A notification I can understand, but if you’ve been dating someone (non-exclusively, because I’m going to assume no one here is jumping head first into a relationship with someone they barely know) for less than a month and you don’t know them that well, you hardly owe them an explanation.