Wait, HOLD ON, why didn’t this article mention he was an all star football player? I’VE CHANGED MY MIND. It is obvious this guy didn’t do it because, football. And like, potential! AND FOOTBALL!

THAT’S ALL I HAD TO DO????

He is pretty much like ‘I couldn’t have raped these women, they are not even really human!’ Yes...THAT IS what a rapist would say.

I know when I am running low on money I just find a random dude in public, point and him, scream rape and wait for donations to come in. It is like pan handling only OBVIOUSLY it is a way bigger pay day. Like...i dunno...WINNING THE LOTTERY!

This is not a woman that’s, you know, a soccer mom or someone that’s credible in society.

Always useful when a predator reveals his criteria for potential victims (women with “lifestyles,” meaning they’re black or poor). He’s too much of an ignorant, spoiled little shit to see how obvious his guilt is to everyone else.

Also, props to the SVU detective on his own force that helped to put him away. She's a badass.

Why the fuck are they even interviewing him?

yes

Does predicting the future violate copyright laws of future events that haven’t happened yet?

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

I would totally reply to a message from a profile like this. So much better than “I don’t like filling these things out so just message me if you want to know more.”

I would contact him off the strength of “my body is ready.” lol

this is actually pretty funny

Just know that you have named my autobiography. “Catching Dick Left and Right: The LolaCat5 Story” will sell ALL the copies because of you.

Interesting ad placement, Sinexxx.

Sean Penn’s recent attempt at journalism ...

And Adequate Man doesn't live in an exceptionally cold and snowy place, like Syracuse. He lives in DC where they might have one of these a year.

This is Adequate Man, not I Spent $500 On Snow Tires And Probably Also Didn't Use Underwear As A Washcloth This Morning Man.