I sincerely hope you’re not having premarital sex for fun. Because when you knock someone up because your condom broke I don’t want to hear you whining to the rest of us about how “responsible people never get pregnant because they can just afford birth control”.

Look mother fucker, I have a job, and you know what isn’t free? Birth control. In fact, the only kind that my body doesn’t have a freak reaction to is an IUD. Guess what my insurance wouldn’t cover? A fucking IUD. So I’ll let you guess how much that cost me out of pocket... $600. So would you rather help fund $600 for…

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP GETTING OUT OF THE GRAY?!

You’re assuming someone wanted to fuck this person in the first place.

Will watch. This is like watching Hoda/Kathie Lee. I don’t do it because I love them, I do it because drunk people are hilarious and say stupid shit early in the morning/afternoon.

I have several credit cards and not a one has a $250 a year fee. What is that shit?

Can I get a... Hillary?

You would be amazed at how many people do not reveal how cheap they are until you ask them to be in a wedding. Also, there is always drama in a bridal party, regardless of who you pick. Who is going to throw parties? Who is going to help pick dresses? Who is the maid of honor? Who is going to resent her for it?

Reposting my response on Gawker last night because, relevant

What is a Becky G and Austin Mahone?

Technically they have their right to face their accuser and any witnesses, so she better start praying REALLY hard for Jesus’ second coming.

Unfortunately, there are many that think you still shouldn’t get to make that choice...

Don’t care how stupid it looks. Will see.

Bravo

I wasn’t aware running a computer company made her a licensed OB/GYN.

There is only Zuul

THANK YOU! Let’s not forget to mention that this dress looking Britney Spears circa 2001.

Hank and Kendra look like two people who hate each other that are just there because they have to be there. Dannielynn looks just like her mom. She’s beautiful and I’m really glad for her that her father is primarily raising her out of the limelight and trying to give her somewhat of a normal childhood.

As someone with bi-polar, I cannot stand it when people just casually refer to other things/people as “bi-polar” because it’s the easy go-to.

You can have my vote if it includes free coffee. Free good coffee, not the crappy office kind.