And luckily for all of us, there are people like you to bring this up in every sports related post, two decades later. Fallout 4, GTAV, Mafia 3, all years apart from their previous releases, all major glitches. But because you don’t like _____ (insert sport, game title or series), you are immune and only buy perfect…

Guys, I don’t want to rock the boat here, but I’m starting to think local governments and team owners don’t care very much about taxpayers.

You know that line that people say a lot that goes, “When someone gets robbed, no one goes around saying that they asked for the thieves to take their money?”

I think the logic is genuinely: There was recently a very popular novel that featured a woman enjoying rough sex. A lot of women apparantly read and enjoyed this book, at least enough to get a film made.

What are they even trying to get at with this pathetic attempt to derail? That women reading erotica is somehow corrupting men? Women enjoying their sexuality makes it okay for men to rape them?

Okay, now the Trump campaign has made me like an E.L. James tweet. THAT’S ENOUGH!

yes

As I was growing up, people were always trying to talk about their sexual conquests, and trying to make themselves appear, you know, like a Don... Casanova. I’m surprised you haven’t heard that. I really am.

Trevor Noah nailed this one perfectly: there is a massive difference between using obscene language to talk about your totally consensual sexual experiences and talking about sexually assaulting someone. Is the first one kinda shitty, depending on the situation? Yea. Do your friends probably want you to shut up…

Oh look! It’s Vincent Adultman, heading off to a long day at the business factory!

Heather calls her racist, which was the correct spirit but the wrong word and Kelly counters with: “I’m Mexican!” which has literally nothing to do with the situation at hand.

No it’s not a TV show, they’re personal friends of Kara Brown.

If I recall, Mars has a much lighter gravity than Earth. Planetes taught me that having a kid in low gravity is not good for the kid.

Shut your damn mouth. Self Checkout is the greatest thing in the world, because it allows you to buy embarrassing as shit without having to face a judgemental cashier. They took out all the self checkout aisles from my CVS and I wanted to punch a child in the stomach. So now I have to buy several other things so…

Ballpark seat man can fuck RIGHT off. There is nothing worse than getting to your seat in the third inning after hitting traffic and some fat homer is already parked in it spilling beer and peanut shells everywhere. Then they give you a dirty look like you’re inconveniencing him and make a big production out of…

I really wish someone would quote Gerald Ford to Trump: “A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.”

This match is going to be awful, because Goldberg is 49 (and wasn’t great in the ring to begin with), and Lesnar has no interest in having an actual wrestling match.

Yea, I’m about as pussy a liberal as there is, and I’m for greater gun restriction than we currently have, but if I have the option to get stabbed seven times or shoot a guy, that dude’s getting shot. I’ll try for a leg at first, but being attacked with a knife is one of the incredibly few times producing a gun is…