You can definitely see someone take a piss on Rick Reilly on Fox Sports 1. But, if you really want to see Rick get shit on, you have to subscribe to Fox Sports 2.

Right, because being a feminist means never criticizing another woman when she says things that are utter bullshit.

Her?

Why act like an adult and leave your job in a professional manner when you can do it front of millions people, cushioned between ads for Doritos and Viagra.

What if corn actually wins the Super Bowl this year?

Wait, are we sure Teddy picked the Seahawks to win outright or did he maybe just pick them to cover the spread?

"Fucking hipster racoons; what are you going to do."

I know TV and movies are scripted as well, but I get ticked off with a bad script just like everybody else.

Not much of a wrestling fan myself, but I imagine its no different then getting invested than Jack Bauer on 24 or something. You know its fake, but you just get super into it anyway. Not like this guy though..

Are you a headline writer for Upworthy?

He wouldn't even drive the bus. He'd have Jesus take the wheel.

"Strong take."

Could ESPN Conjure a More Beaten-To-Death Narrative Over Which Vapid Debate Ran Its Course More Than a Year Ago and Yet Any Opportunity to Bring Up the Cash Cow is Readily Seized Upon by Network Executives in A Cynical Ploy to Boost Ratings to the Detriment of All Our Collective Happiness and Emotional Stability?

Only if he was driving their bus.

I think this performance wins for best audience participation, it was lots of fun, but Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragon had the best performance of the night hands down.

At this rate, cruises will soon have to bill themselves as "fantasy" vacations for hardcore post-apocalyptic fantasists who dream of, say, being trapped on Earth's last remaining ark as a zombie plague spreads like wildfire from cabin to cabin.

Crows are not a specific species. They're a group with subspecies, basically. But no matter what the species, they are all highly intelligent assholes.

"The Hooded Crow" is actually the title to the next christianity-based mystery adventure novel by Dan Brown.

Awww, fuck. People are going to be all on the end-times bandwagon over this.