If by "America" you mean "old white people who take sports too seriously", then yeah, they're Broncos fans now.

I found the unathletic person in this thread.

I wonder if the guys on the bench decide before the game who is going to pretend to be held back and who is going to do the holding back in the event of a monstrous dunk.

I tried that once in a drunken Nerf hoop game a few years back. Afterwards they all called me The One as well. The one with a broken ankle, the one who caused $500 in damage to the living room. The one who's not allowed to play drunken Nerf hoop any longer.

Here are the GIFs:

I wouldn't even be slightly surprised if CBS panned across the sideline tomorrow on the broadcast and eventually found Gronk trying to light up a 3-paper joint with one of the sideline heaters.

Yo soy fiesta, bitches!

When asked Brady responded, "Bill told us about it, 'Don't go out there and be stupid', so we rea....wait hold on, Has anybody seen Gronk? Shit! HAS ANYBODY SEEN GRONK!?!?"

There better not be other spiders out there appropriating black (widow) culture.

lolololol

The money absolutely could have been put to better use. As could all money, everywhere, at any moment, pretty much. It's one thing to say 'well, that's a waste of money,' and another to turn it into 'people are starving for your Dunham pics, Coen.'

Since avoidingmyfinalpaper just keeps dismissing responses:

And they could have fired Dodai Stewart and hired a professor to write an academic column. Or they could have set the money on fire. They could have given it to an unpaid intern! Again, it isn't hard to thing of things you wish or I wish they would have done with money - it isn't hard to do that with anyone's money.

I didn't dismiss anything...there has been kinja mayhem today. I am terribly worried about my impact on your daughters. I will prostrate myself at the altar of alskfja;slkdfjas;ldfkj sorry got bored.

Hello burner of ToHelenBackAgain!

Haha, I agree this thing is dumb, but the "Why not the food banks" thing has got to stop. "You put a sign in front of your business? THAT COULD BE MEALS" "Wow, you paid for a haircut? GET SCISSORS AND BUY MOSQUITO NETS"

"Somebody opened up the exit door and Rivers fell out the back" is a great call.

Well, yes, "flair" does translate in German, but the word for it is 28 characters long and unpronounceable unless you've drunk a bottle of Gewurztraminer.

Strangely—if the NFL chose to do some coroprate in-game shilling, and in exchange they agreed to get rid of 3 minute commercial breaks after every MOTHERFUCKING touchback, or going to "injury time-outs" when the injured player is already on the sidelines when they go to commercials, I'd be all for it.