“I spent $15 on this?”

“He turned me into a pile of dust!”

There’s been so much over the last 80 years devoted to romanticizing the last days of the Wild West. I want to see more movies romanticize the first days of the Wild West.

reason to watch #6: we get paid more if people watch it because we told them to.

Nice try, AV Club. You aren’t going to get me to listen to that goddamn

But, this time the villain wants to use the world’s population to manufacture knockoff MCU merchandise.

Like that Tex Avery cartoon, King Size Canary, where adversaries just take turns drinking higher quantities of a growth serum than the last person, until it runs out and they have to end the movie.

Post-credit sequence: Someone finds some more.

Robert Smigel could write a comedy starring Bill Cosby, the Golden State Killer, and the reanimated corpse of Pol Pot, and it would be the funniest movie of the century.

Stupid Kinjas need the most stars!

[crickets]

I was too pooped to pope, so I had me a papal pep-up.

“Yeah, no fucking shit.”

I glanced at the picture, and thought “gee, Guillermo del Toro is really looking rough.” Then, I saw the picture of John Lasseter under the “You may also like” news section, and thought, “did the the Dilbert guy get fat, and hair?” Then I looked back at the first picture and thought, “no, wait, that’s G.R.R. Martin.”…

What about other parts of your body?

THEY EAT LIKE PIGS.

Some other words that rhyme with “fart”:

Pigs are the perfect pet. They’re cute. They’re easy to care for. They’re loyal. They’re a great conversation starter (for all you singles out there).

Episode 1: How does Megan Fox keep getting acting work?

Or “Morgue Corpse #3" on NCIS.