When I was 16 I went on a summer backpacking trip, and one of my groupmates was the hotelier Andre Balazs's daughter. At the time Balazs was dating Uma Thurman, and both of them came to pick up Balazs's daughter at the end of the trip. Uma didn't say much, but as they walked away I saw Balazs grab her ass. Then I…

I'm sorry, but I was told that the hardest part of breaking up is getting back your stuff.

By Republican standards, yes. He qualifies even though these doctors and this law enforcement abbreviation are fictional. Also, he's a white Christian male so that makes him an expert on whatever he decides to be an expert.

Oh no! That would have been really mean and probably would violate some sort of Internet Terms of Service. Not my style. :)

Sorry, I wasn't implying that you are Todd Akin! I was trying to say that Todd Akin is just making shit up but saying it convincingly (i.e., that "legitimate case of rape" is a legal term). Sorry if that came out wrong— I'm working on 3 hours of sleep here.

Okay, Todd Akin, I'm really impressed with your ability to just make shit up as you go and say it with absolute conviction, but please save it for your improv team.

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