AW, SHIT, THEY REDISCOVERED THE SLIDESHOW FUNCTION.

Sorry, where does the musical fit into all this?

Also, holy shit: I legit thought Katherine Heigl was dead.

I will never believe for a second that making Redfall was Arkane’s choice; I believe it was simply Zenimax tarting up the company for sale by showing Microsoft that, yes, see, they do have a money-printing machine- er, live service online game on the boil. Zenimax threw Arkane Austin under the bus.

Is it by writing terrible TV that makes you weep for the medium?

Maybe he meant to put something at the end, you know after he just...stops typing here:

Ah, yeah, yeah, but you see, they don’t feel any emotional attachment to those things. They feel emotional attachments to the tech - and so, they believe, do you, because if they were able to relate to other, different people, they wouldn’t be working in fucking Silicon Valley making iPads. 

The techbro believes they should be at the centre of all human endeavour, hell at the centre of humanity itself.

What about Dennis Hopper?

BRO, I DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE, LET'S JUST BE COOL- wait, what were you talking about?

You’re...you're not exactly selling me on the idea of visiting New York. 

You know, I had to look them up last time someone mentioned that sweet Laurel Canyon sound...

Finland’s second-funniest cultural institution!

“Countryside is the term for the murder of Piers Morgan” -Jeremy Clarkson

“I was made to assist you” is perhaps the most chilling line in all that.

Here’s what happens:

Because the 30-somethings that write for this site get all the cultural cues from 19-year-olds on tiktok.

You gotta love Caesar for having capitalism described in terms of shaving Sammy Davis Jr's back. 

Dunno, but I hear Swedish-made penis enlarger pumps are totally his bag, baby.

Banging? You mean coitus?