Honestly, the turtleneck/jacket combo is waaaay more offensive. 

Boy walked straight out of the hanger from I Want It That Way.

Back during the NYC blackout in summer of ‘03, after I walked all the way from lower manhattan through Wburg to downtown brooklyn, the first thing i did when I got home was turn on the gas burners to see if they worked, light a candle, rummage through the fridge, and just absolutely went to town on big portion of lox,…

“trolling” is such a BS excuse. 99% of the time, the person doing the so-called trolling believes emphatically the reprehensible shit they are spewing — they just want to use the word “trolling” as an escape hatch to avoid social consequences of being a total piece of shit.

Emily Gilmore will fight Lucille for that cardigan.

This is America, you can order whatever culinary abomination you like. That does not make it right.

I am genuinely outraged at the number of people below who didn’t seem to get the reference.

Fascinating. I think we need to leave open the possibility that “GUTLESS LIBERAL SNOWFLAKE ! ! EMAIL ME BACK IF I GOT IT WRONG” is actually part of the email signature.

I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again.…

Will a man come out and tell you how white your shirt can be?

I initially read this as Shut Up, The Meg

I do this all the time. Part of it is the toilet plume issue and part of it is eliminating the possibility of dropping stuff in the toilet, but the main reason is our cat seemed to prefer toilet water to her water bowl. I got tired of seeing a 12 pound Maine Coon face down in the toilet, so I started closing the lid.

I keep the toilet seat down at home after encountering a suspiciously wet cat one too many times. . . 

Juicy Pear® is indeed the best flavor.

The problem with buttered popcorn jelly beans is that they taste like buttered popcorn. If I want to taste buttered popcorn, I’ll eat some buttered popcorn. I don’t need it delivered to my maw in jelly bean form.

Actually he did that before the article came out — which is one of the reasons that is the one story I refuse to group in with the #metoo stuff, and he’s the one person I think whose career should be minimally effected by this. He reached out to her the day after their date to see how she was, she told him she felt…

Isn’t that what Aziz Ansari did immediately following the article that tanked him - it was said he reached back out to the woman and apologized personally and profusely - and yet... he’s still not forgiven?

Uh lemons are crazy expensive right now. The absolute cheapest I’ve seen is 50 cents per piddly little lemon with weird grey blotches on it. If he was selling like 5 for $1 I’d be first in lime. (sorry not sorry)

Cut?  More like gnaw straight off the block.