Sleep with one eye open, because once she gets a taste for your flesh, there's no turning back.

We don't like to talk about it.

The brownies story reminds me of the time my mother used salt instead of sugar (because she got confused, and couldn't be bothered to taste a pinch first to make sure she wasn't going to screw up). The cake came out of the oven, and she said, "Hey, Theon, this cake looks really weird. Will you taste it to make sure?"

The New Yorker had a cartoon a few months ago where the caption was "I've only been gluten-free for two weeks, but I'm already really annoying."

Flappy Bird

She makes robots. That's pretty damned cool.

I like "hack-writer."

Cra-cra is what the pterodactyls say before they rip your eyes out.

No. Make it stop.

Gross. I can smell the rage sweat on him from here.

Better than the Simpsons themed "Dil-D'oh!"

Tom Bissell says that cocaine doesn't exaggerate personalities, it italicizes them. So you must make a mean sandwich any day of the week.

Drank so much I shit myself. Does that count?

I am very sorry I clicked that link.

The singularity.

The music was straight-up 2nd coming of Nickelback, but the stunts were fucking amazing.

This is why there are companies that make flasks that look like tampons.

Probably the only reason to have kids.

I'm surprised you're not dead. You must have trained like you were doing the booze Ironman before you started.

Just put on all the lights. It's what I would do.