Warren is possibly the only person in either chamber who I feel shouldn't be dumped out of a jet liner at cruising altitude.

Well, this has ruined soft-serv for me for a little while. And play-doh.

I can't even handle reading about the premise of the game.

Also: whatever else you do, be quick and decisive, do your damage, and then get the fuck out of there.

For as many times as I've seen Frozen (several million—why, yes I do have a 3 year-old daughter) you'd think I'd be able to tell the two sisters apart.

Vonnegut's imagination was never this dark.

Well, she did only have about five lines and a third of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman."

Can we put a moratorium on that falling down so hard that you punch the ground and make sparks fly thing? It's getting really old. And also, if you can punch that hard, why not just punch the person you want to hit?

...or you can ignore the main story entirely and become a shepherd for a year.

I'm interested in how 18th century Paris is represented in the game. Any particular take on the map itself, and the structure of the city (in particular the "accuracy" of what's represented there).

God, she looks like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky.

You get "poop shoot" after Taco Bell.

Pregnant women aren't jacking up medical costs the way diabetes and heart disease are.

I cannot abide George Stephanopoulos. He is a straight up sack of shit.

Christopher Nolan's Call of Duty: BWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

So basically she went from third world problems to first world problems?

Neither am I, but then I remember that a pack of her Honest baby wipes is like eight bucks.

Do away with some of the sillier character design choices—like the fact that Miranda never wears a helmet, or that Jack never wears much clothing of any kind.

I know, right? The individual cool downs forced you to think a little more about how to deal with enemies, and use all of your abilities, instead of just spamming the three that you have hot-keyed on the controller.

Clearly that is diarrhea.