I can parse from about 2/3 of those labels what the actual function is... But if you needed that many buttons why TF do you have a touchscreen too?  And why is it indented in the dash?  Also, why is the stability control button near the infotainment controls?!

Or you live basically anywhere between the California border and the Mississippi River.

“Escalade remains No. 1 with a bullet in large luxury SUVs”

You also have to wake up and see a C-HR every day.  That’s punishment enough.

It’s heavier than the Fiero.

I mean, he’s already crazy, but somehow I doubt he’d go for this. I can dream though.

My dad has one of these.  I hate it.

I picked a Focus because it came with the features I wanted (i.e cruise control, bluetooth, and a standard transmission) had pretty good fuel economy, and wasn’t a total snoozefest to drive.  Sure, it’s only got 125hp, but it’s *enough* car at a price I can stomach.

Some of the names Codsworth could say were outright hilarious.

You’re to blame for pineapple on pizza.  Stick to poutine and stay in your lane.

they weren’t even automatics, they’re DSGs.  The manual is fine, and to a lesser degree the traditional automatic with the 1.0 (although it sucks for different reasons in the EcoSport)

It gets a lot of rev hang after a rainstorm, and the pedal position sensor was replaced at about 10k miles in already.

the EcoBoost 1L mates to a traditional automatic 6-speed instead of the boat anchor DSG, and those things are even pretty bulletproof.

But the EcoBoost 1.0 kinda likes to be on the boost to make any power and dealing with turbo lag *AND* downshifts makes an already slow car way too slow.  Manual’s the way to go with…

I bought a manual Focus last February, and haven’t had any issues of note aside from an accelerator pedal position sensor that seems to not like it when it rains.  Not that that happens very often, around here, though.

Cancelled *another* StarCraft FPS, you mean.

Like a lot of women I know, I was into it before I saw the back end.

The result is that crossovers use “unibody” architecture

Those are the quintessential SUV: body on frame, truck based, and high ground clearance. Also, don’t quote wikipedia at me, it can always be edited. From: https://www.autotrader.com/car-shopping/suv-vs-crossover-whats-difference-215843 

by definition, it is not body on frame; therefore it is a crossover.

it is a crossover, those are not SUVs.