Apparently he copy pasted that message to a ton of women today. Shockingly it didnt end well.

Oh my God, is this guy God?????

This one even has sexy rubber gloves for sexy cleaning.

Sorry guys, there's a "sexy" everything!

We did it but it was the diciest encounter in our 20 year relationship. We were both in danger of throwing up from drunkenness the entire 3-5 minutes. Super unromantic

I CAN'T! YOU HAVE ANGERED THE KINJA GOD AND MUST PLACATE HIM WITH TOM HIDDLESTON GIFS AND A CAT VIDEO BEFORE THE LINK CAN BE FREED! HURRY NOW, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

This is sweet little old lady for "Go fuck yourselves, smug internet pricks" and it is awesome.

That hair. That hair is manufactured by a beauty company whose research team is made up of galactic lionfish who found a 1974 issue of Vogue orbiting in a cloud of interstellar debris, and were inspired to go into the wig business for humans.

I don't know, if someone had told me that this is how the Miss America pageant has evolved, I might START watching it.

Finally, a Disney Princess post I give a damn about.

It was cold out that day

Only 4.94? She should have made sure the length was at least 8. Ideally, 9 or above ;)

I think I'm done with the news for today. Bed seems like a grand idea.

lol, too hard, on himself.

I count at least five boner-related puns in this article. Not sure if all were intentional.

Think he's too hard on himself? Also, maybe pick a better place next time? While the sculpture probably counts as parody, I wonder if Lotte ran it by Marvel first? Or even, notice the boner?

Oh...