This is exactly why I don’t get out of bed in the morning. Like, fuck a 50% chance of dying!

“In college, I was up under this microscope everywhere I went.”

“An ejection in three minutes? Finally, something I can beat that guy at!”

Aside from one of the most amazing passes I’ve ever seen before he got to half court...

Yea, you’re a door knob.

I couldn’t understand a word by Kevin Harlan during that whole sequence. I think I heard “on the doorstep” and “Curry” - aside from that, it was complete jibberish. The clip starts with “Aaareee-swaa-tuuu-propellah” and finishes with “Abadalabah, paaa-puuu-saahhhh!”

This isn't even in the top 5 prettiest plays by the Warriors this season.

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

If you spill ketchup or ice cream, you can usually Febreeze the smell away in due time.

Like I'm going to listen to the opinion of someone who goes to the airport to watch a movie.

ill preface this comment by saying i was born and raised in Massachusetts (spent 25 yeas in Boston and the South Shore.). This has to be the first time ever that the police have covered up for a black guy.

Dwight Howard is the NBA equivalent to a frozen hamburger